The Wonders of Drugs
by K-tan
Summary: See what happens when the Tsubasa team gets high on drugs! 8D
1. High off of Cigarettes?

Okie...so basically for some reason I had to go to this drug group thing at school(No I don't do drugs! D ) and basically I was bored while everyone was talking and the topic of Alchohol came up and I thought of Fai-san. Of course we all know how fai-san acts when he's drunk, and I started to wonder how he would act if he were on other drugs, like cigarettes and stuff and here we are! 8D

**Fai:** Wow...can't wait to see what happens. What do you think Kuro-woof?

**Kurogane:** There's no way you're going anywhere near those things, and stop calling me that!

**K-san:** Don't worry, you'll get to have some too Kuro-pii!

**Kurogane: **What?!

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Kitsune stretched from her spot on the floor, her head aching terribly.

"Owe…feels like I have a hangover…" She groaned, one hand resting against her forhead. The air smelled strange and she felt weird. Rising on shaky legs and making her way towards the front room. She blinked as Fai noticed her and drifted over.

"Isn't life _Wonderful_?" He said drearily, leaning on her shoulder.

"Huh?" Kitsune asked blankly. She covered her nose with her arm. "You reek of cigarettes…"

"Isn't it wonderful?"

"I hate that stench…" She grumbled. "What the hell did you get into this time?" Fai blinked and put a finger to his lower lip in thought.

"Oh yeah! Yena wanted a smoke and the room started to smell like whatever it was. I told her to open a new window and let the stuff out, but she said it was fine, and here we are!" He said cheerily. "You want one?" He offered, waving a cigarette in her face. She snatched it and after dropping it, ground it down with her heel.

"No," She growled. "I'm going out…" She huffed and started away.

"Awe! You're not gonna stay with me?" He whined.

"No…" She growled.

"Awe…please Kitsune-san!"

She huffed and reluctantly nodded.

"Yay!" Fai blurted, jumping up. "Did you hear that, Kurorin? She's gonna join us!" He blurted, looking over.

"Kurogane-san too?" Kitsune blinked. It took a lot to get the ninja high on anything. She started to feel very uneasy now. She sat on the floor alongside the couches, staring blankly around the room. The fumes were making her feel weird and giddy, so she offered to open a window, but they just waved it off. She yawned after a while but squeeked when something poked her in the side.

"Look Kurotan, she squeaks!" Fai blurted drearily. He poked her again, and sure enough, she let out another squeak. She turned her head and scowled at Fai, when someone else prodded her in the side. She let out another shrill squeak.

"You're right…she does!" Kurogane laughed. She knew up to this point that they must've been breathing in the fumes for a long time for Kurogane to be acting this way too.

The next several minutes were really annoying, as she was prodded in the side several times, squeeking for each time. Finally Kurogane reached out to poke her again and found she bit his finger. He howled and waved his finger around wildly. Unfortunately for Kitsune, it seemed to bring back some of his common sense as he howled: "You bit me! You little…"

Fai hopped over to Kurogane and embraced him in a hug, and giggled. "You're _sooo_ funny, Kuro-Wanwan!"

"Get off me! And stop calling me those stupid names, mage!" Kitsune decided it would probably be best to slink off while things were still down to a minimum.

"Where do you think _you're_ going?"

Kitsune froze in her tracks and looked over her shoulder to see Kurogane, his hand on his sword, Souhi.

"I'm gonna cut you to ribbons!" He growled, and lunged at her. It was like a typical Fai & Kurogane chase only with Kitsune instead, and rather than calling Kurogane names she focused on running, worried about what Kurogane would do if he really _did _catch her. She dove under the high bed, which had about two feet of space underneath, and crouched in the corner, holding her breath as Kurogane stormed in.

Something in the corner fell and Kurogane approached it to check it out, thinking Kitsune was there, on the opposite side of the room. She took the opportunity and dove back out of the room. Hearing Kurogane behind her, she scurried behind the couch. As he rounded the corner, he barely ducked out of the way of a flying pillow. He dodged for his life away from flying pillows, coffee mugs, a cell phone etc.

He almost got hit by a flying picture frame, which twirled in the air like a flying star and stuck in the wall, coming dangerously close to slicing off Kurogane's head, if that was even possible.

"Are you trying to kill me?!" Kurogane spat, ducking as another coffee mug flew through the air and almost hit him. Fai stood up dizzily and smiled.

"Awe… are you two having fun without m…?" He fell over as a pillow crashed against his face and toppled him over. Kurogane lunged and Kitsune scrambled for another hiding place, skittering into the kitchen. Many different kinds of foods were thrown, including a few of Syaoran's precious chocolates(of course we all know Syaoran couldn't live without sugar 8D). Kurogane slipped on a tomatoe and sailed across the linoleum into the wall with a loud _THUNK!_

When Syaoran and Sakura returned, it was once again, too quiet. Syaoran wondered what horrible torture Kurogane had put Fai through this time around. They picked up the strong smell of cigarettes right away and wandered into the living room.

Kurogane was flopped on one couch, Fai was draped over the back of another, and Kitsune was lying on the ground, one arm draped over her eyes with her mouth very slightly agape.

"Did you guys…get high while we were out?" Syaoran asked a bit hesitantly, blinking dumbfoundedly.

"Me and Kuro-pii did…" Fai murmured, almost weakly with that same fake goofy smile on his face.

"I told you not to call me that…but…" Kurogane said.

"I think we can definitely say…" Kitsune replied.

"_Never again._" They all finished at once in unison.

**END**

**Afterward:** It's actually JUST the end of the first part, more coming up soon 3

**Next Chapter:** Fai didn't get enough off just regular cigarette's, this time he's gonna learn the wonders of Marijuana! 8D


	2. Dilusions of a Lion Tamer

Ok so basically we were trying to think up what would happen if Fai were on Marijuana. One of my friends aislin suggested this and I basically filled in the details, and I hate WAY too much fun writing this -laughs-

**Fai: **I wonder what wonderful thing I'm going to do this time!

**Kurogane: **You're not doing anything!

**K-san: **Of course he's not...not without you Kuro-sama X3

**Kurogane:** WHAT?!

**Fai:** I can't wait!

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Kitsune stretched as she returned to the small apartment. She was finally feeling better after the whole 'cigarette incident', feeling pretty sure that it was all behind them now, and felt that today would be a good day.

She guessed that she had hoped too soon as she opened the door and a strong, disgusting odor drifted out from inside the apartment upon opening the door. Kitsune covered her nose with her arm and shifted to the living room, cursing all the way over about her sensitive nose.

Yena was splayed on one of the couches, smoking again, though from the smell Kitsune could only guess they weren't just regular cigarettes. Fai was present, acting weird and giddy, though the mage had always gotten high off many things very easily. Kurogane was there too but seeing him acting more…normal…she already knew he wasn't high, and probably hadn't been there long.

"What did you get into this time?" Kitsune growled through her arm.

"It's marijuana sweetie. If you're gonna complain, go somewhere else." Yena growled, taking another puff. Kurogane was trying to drag Fai out of the room and away from the fumes, mostly so he wouldn't be a nuisance to him later on.

"Wahh!!! Kuro-pii is being mean to me again!" He cried, flailing about like a child throwing a tantrum. Kitsune sighed and grabbed one of Fai's arms, trying to pull the mage to his feet.

"C'mon Houdini, let's go…"

Fai struggled free of their grasps and dove behind the couch, shouting, "NO!"

Kitsune huffed, about ready to dive after him and drag him out when she perked slightly, seeing an article of clothing, _Fai's_ clothing, go flying across the room from behind the couch and froze, unsure of what to do or say.

There was a long silence and no movement as far as could be seen, and Kitsune wondered if maybe Fai had finally passed out from the fumes. She didn't make any movements towards the couch though, and tried to get a view over the couch.

"F…fai-san…?" She asked a bit hesitantly. A few more eerie moments of silence followed before Fai jumped up onto the back of the couch in nothing but a loincloth and a whip in hand.

Kitsune's jaw dropped nearly half way to the floor, her eyes bugging out as she jumped back, completely stunned, and fell onto her butt, unable to get any words out of her mouth at the sight. Fai raised his head up deliriously and declared, "No one can defeat Fai d. Flowright, the master lion tamer and king of the beasts!"

_Oh dear lord…_Kitsune thought, practically choking on the spot, unable to get in a breath. _He's…he's nearly naked…and…_

Kurogane's eyebrow quirked and he got an irritated look, though it was mixed with quite a bit of disgust.

"Remind me to _never_ let you get high on that stuff _ever_ again!" Kurogane spat. He ducked slightly as the whip cracked overhead and Fai puffed out his chest, still delirious from the drugs.

"Bow down before me, wild beast!"

Kurogane scowled. "I'm warning you mage, get down from there!" He spat. Fai scoffed and cracked the whip defiantly. "Is Kuro-wanwan mad? Is he a mighty lion, or a tiny baby kitten?" Fai shot at Kurogane.

Kurogane grinned evilly. "Oh…I'll show you personally just how mad I am!" He lunged but found himself dodging out of the way of the whip and almost loosing his balance. He yelped, in a rather unmanly manor, and found himself clutching his butt as the whip made contact.

Kitsune just sat glued to the floor, finding herself to shocked to be able to look away or even shut her eyes and gaped at the two. Fai cracked his whip at Kurogane and sent the ninja running, chasing after and cracking his whip, threatening to get Kurogane with it.

Kitsune couldn't believe this either. Kurogane was _running from Fai_! She rubbed her eyes before looking and seeing that it was still happening. She cradled herself murmuring, _"It's just a dream…just a dream…just a dream…"_

She looked up as Fai hollered and her jaw dropped again as she saw Fai riding on top of a frenzied Kurogane, who was trying his best to pry the mage off of him. "Whoohoo! I shall tame this wild beast!" Fai hollered.

Kurogane spun around and around like a mad bull, trying to get a hold of Fai as the high magician rode Kurogane like a horse, bouncing up and down, making the scene all the more worse.

Kurogane finally leaned forward, getting a hold of Fai and flinging him off his back, and into a wall, head against the ground and legs splayed up in the air, the lion cloth falling away from what it had been hiding.

Kitsune found herself almost dieing from choking, her eyes bugging out till it seemed they'd fall right out. _Oh god…his…_She found her surroundings growing dim before she fell back onto the carpet, passing out. Everything had been bad but that…that had just been _way_ too much…

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When Syaoran and Sakura returned once more, they smelled the strong drug's scent and drifted into the living room, unsure of what was awaiting this time. Luckily, Fai, coming back from his little 'drug trip' was back into his regular clothes and was fanning Kitsune, who was apparently still in shock.

Kurogane was sitting as far away from all of them as possible, and Yena had apparently taken off, complaining that all her drugs were used up. Syaoran blinked and guessed whatever had happened had not been very pretty.

"Um…what…happened…?" Syaoran asked very hesitantly, unsure of if he wanted to know the answer. The fumes had gone down, the windows opened now that Yena was gone, but it was obvious Kitsune wasn't drugged up, it was something else, and it was hard to shock her that bad with anything.

Fai looked up and smiled innocently, that same fake, goofy smile he always wore. "Oh, let's just say there was a little incident and I think we may have destroyed Kitsune's innocence…"

Mokona poked his head up beside the young girl. "She can be innocent?" The white manjuu bun found a fist slamming down against him so hard he bounced off the ground like a bouncy ball. "SHUT. IT." Kitsune growled, still looking pretty shocked despite her returning attitude.

"Wait but what…?" Syaoran began, but he waved it off and took Sakura's hand to lead her into the next room. "On second thought…I don't think I wanna know…"

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OK... so I guess I had a LITTLE too much fun writing this...XD Again, it was originally my friends/aislin's idea, but I am SOO glad I got her recommendations.

**Next Chapter:** Everyone knows kids get hyper off sugar and soda, but then Kitsune and Fai get a little taste of Caffine, the legal drug! 8D And sakura's innocence is on the line! XDD


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